Wannabe Ladybugs
by SterlingSilverRose23
Summary: USUK- Arthur has a big fear of spiders, Alfred has a big fear of horror films. Great. Rated for Arthurs Language


**Words: 835**

 **Warnings: Arthurs foul language.**

 **Oneshot: Wannabe Ladybugs**

Arthur stepped out of his shower, wrapping one down around his hair, the over around his waist. He just wanted to get into bed and forget the stress that was work.

After drying his hair properly, just like every other night, he decided to make himself some tea. But when he stepped into his kitchen, he was greeted by the largest, scariest, hairiest, I'm gonna kill you and you family'-ist spider he had ever seen and Jesus did he scream bloody murder when he saw it.

Alfred shook as he turned off the television. A Woman in black had been one of the worst horror movies yet and he didn't trust turning off the living room light. Maybe he would sleep on the couch tonight, maybe he would just not sleep...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

It came from the apartment below and Alfred fell off the couch in fear.

There was another scream and he looked around for something to defend himself.

Very quickly his rational mind came back and he knew the person- judging by the sound of the scream, it was a woman- was in trouble, but got no he wasn't going to leave his apartment after a movie like that. So he grabbed his phone and dialled 911.

After calming down about the spider's presence, Arthur pondered how he was going to get rid of the damn thing. not a cell in his body let him move an inch, and it felt like he'd been holding his breath for an hour now.

Spiders ruined his life, once there was one behind his toilet and he used the public restrooms until he got tired of it and called a plumber to 'fix something' and convinced the guy to kill the spider. He'd moved out of his last apartment because he found a spider in his bed, it was like they were following him.

Maybe he could just back out of the room slowly and in the morning it would be gone, he couldn't spend all night having a staring contest with a spider, especially when he was only wearing a towel.

There was a huge crash and 3 police officers made their way into his apartment. Arthur screamed again but at them this time, the spider moved slightly and he jumped onto the kitchen counter. It's simple to say it was a more than awkward situation.

"Sir?" one of them stepped forward and started talking though Arthur was more worried about covering his naked form.

"what? why are you here?"

"your neighbour heard several screams, when you didn't answer the door we decided this was the best cause of action to take." All 3 of them were brandishing pistols, though, with no clear danger, 2 of the men had out them away again. Had they really been knocking? Arthur was way too entranced in his spider stare off to notice.

Arthur thought about which one of his neighbours might act so rashly, and sure enough, the American idiot who lived above him was hiding in the hallway. Arthur rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't say I screamed..." He mumbled.

"Well, it was loud enough for your neighbour to call the police, what did happen here?"

Arthur looked down at the black mass that was a spider and glared, immediately 2 of the police officers burst into laughter, one of them almost falling over. Alfred snickered from his place in the hallway.

An officer walked over to the spider and crushed it in one swift movement, taking some of Arthur's kitchen towel, wiping it up and throwing it in the dustbin, "Well, I think we're all good here. sorry for disturbing you, sir."

One of the men still laughing and the other two snickering under their breath left with a 'sorry' and a 'goodbye' leaving a very angry and infuriated Arthur staring him down wearing nothing but a towel.

"sorry... I really thought somebody was being murdered... most likely a woman... a young wom-"

"Shut up!" Arthur shouted probably a little bit too loud. "get out of my house" He didn't stay to watch if Alfred left, he just went to his bedroom to throw on clothes, any clothes.

When he returned Alfred was still there. "what do you want?"

"well..." Alfred considered, what did he want? why hadn't he gone back to his room? Because he was terrified the woman in black would be there... "please don't make me go back upstairs... she's going to kill me" he whispered the last part.

"I don't know who she is but I fucking hope she does" he stormed over to the door, ready to slam it in his face.

Alfred quickly put his foot in the door, "please, I'll make you a deal, if you let me stay here tonight then I'll kill every last spider in the apartment!"

Arthur considered the offer and opened the door slightly. "every last one?"

"every last one."

 **My late boyfriend(r.i.p) used to tell me that spiders were just wannabe ladybugs, hence the title. I'll let you imagine what happens next.  
A short oneshot for oneshot Wednesday.  
Sorry it isn't great and sorry it's so short and i'm gonna stop apologising now...**

 **Please Review.**


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